You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
