She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
