she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You were trust falling into bushes
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize