I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
