Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
