You made me cry and you don't even care
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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