lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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