I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
