Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize