there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
