I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
