oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
