I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize