Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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