it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
