You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
