You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
