I'm so fucking centered right now
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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