You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
