Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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