So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
