just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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