I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
