i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
