im having a threesome with these popsicles
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
