Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
