I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
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