hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
