have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the day after is always just damage control
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
