i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize