I cannot find my penis.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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