I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
