We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
