I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
