When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
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