Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
