so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
cat food counts as protein by the way
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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