You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
