i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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