I think I am morally bankrupt
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
They took my balls.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
