I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
