So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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