my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
