He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
