oh god the rape fog is back!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
