She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
