you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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