Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
