Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
