I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
