Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize