Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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