Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
