he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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