What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
