My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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