and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
