he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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