yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
