you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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