I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
