Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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