So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
