I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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