He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
