I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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