i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize