her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
