I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I need to sanitize my soul.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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