talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
